Time Capsule

1.        

The first thing I would put in my time capsule would be all five seasons of Jersey Shore. They serve as a perfect example of society’s deteriorating common sense and morality. I hope that the people of the future would have strong enough morals not to re-create their own version, but the Meatballs’ heels are higher than those hopes. The great appeal of the show is that it makes viewers feel intelligent in comparison to the ‘characters’, who run around drunk, orange and half-naked for months at a time. Who could forget when Deena mixed up the terms hermaphrodite and pyromaniac; or, when Snooki taught us that showers are really not necessary so long as you smell nice and the best way to cure a hangover is to keep drinking? Ideally, the people of the future would watch and immediately resolve not to ever regress morally to where we are today. Instead, they would be inspired to spend time in Nature, take good care of their health, and have stimulating conversations with fewer than ten curse words.

 

2.  

Of course I need to have my chocolate when enjoying trash television. For this reason I will include a crowd-pleasing tin of Quality Street chocolates. I’m a bit of a chocoholic, so it would be out of the question not to include some sort of sweet, chocolaty street. I picked Quality Street for many reasons, one of which is that unlike Pot of Gold, a single person could enjoy every piece in the tin. Pot of Gold boxes stick to a theme, for example creams or nuts, meaning they will appeal to a select audience. Growing up, these tins would surface halfway through December, and if I was good Santa might’ve left one in my stocking. Quality Street’s work well as a breakfast meal, quick dose of sugar or chocolate, and bright wrapper colouring makes them an edible centerpiece. In short, I would be ecstatic to find a box of chocolates safely sealed in a time capsule!

3.       

Next, I would add a cellphone, iPod and laptop. The purpose of this is to show how reliant we are on technology for entertainment in modern times. Rather than playing outside, learning for pleasure, or talking with family and friends, we now plug in and tune out. I wonder how dissimilar this trend is from that of the seventies, when many people lived by the phrase “turn on, tune in and drop out.” In modern times we use technology as our drug, claiming that it helps to connect us and make our human connection stronger, but does it? We use technology to ignore the problems of modern reality rather than tackling the challenges head on, leading us to be an instant-gratification based world. Connections feel artificial because you’ll probably never meet even a quarter of the people you encounter on-line.

4.    

To balance out the overload of unhealthy vices, I would tuck a few of my favourite journals into the time capsule. The process of writing has been beneficial in many stages of my life and I always encourage others to give it a try. Sure, it would be weird to know that someone has read my most private thoughts, but theoretically I would be long-gone by the time the scientists are giggling over my teenage escapades. My journals could become bestsellers for kids going through the same things that I did, or even used as scientific documents for history classes. They would give people an idea of what it’s like to live in today’s world and some common values, priorities and experiences. I would be very interested to know what made sense to them and what seemed totally crazy. Also it should be noted that I’m working on the theory that the people of the future can still read English in order for them to be interested in my brain on paper.

5.     

Finally, I would cram my longboard on top of the journals and chocolates. While they feel heavy at first, longboards are an excellent and multi-purpose form of transportation. You can push them uphill for an awesome leg and butt workout or carry them to tone your upper back and arms. Daredevils slide down monster hills to keep pace with cars, sometimes even passing them as they zigzag all over the road. The faint-hearted, like myself, sit on the board to go down hills at a safer speed. The board is a great conversational piece, as I first found out when strangers of all ages approached me to compliment my design. They’re more enjoyable to ride than stubby skateboards and more sensitive with turns. Either way, I get to where I’m going while enjoying the view and breeze in my hair along the way.