On Call Sex Doll (A Learning Curve Poem)

                 I wrote this a few months ago, back in September-October when I was hanging around an unsavory guy. He's been coming up a lot in my mind: how much I can't stand to think about his face in my mind, or that I did what I did. Generally anger &shitty feelings.

        We started hooking up around the time my mom gave me "60 days to find somewhere else that will want you". Needless to say, I was very vulnerable at the time and looking for love... I even knew I was, knew that was a surefire way to get into trouble. I knew 100% that nothing good would come of it; at least not in the traditional sense. However, I am now able to say FUCK OFF/Leave me alone/Get away from me or I'll call the cops to a guy or anyone else bothering me. No more Ms. Timid-Yes Girl.

             I'm aware that my poetry is nowhere near publishable, but hey it's the internet and I'm sure there's worse (read: cringeworthy) out there. I hope that it will resonate with someone, as simple and straightforward as it is, and help them to consider how their 'lover' *barf* is treating them. (Isn't poetry supposed to be all mysterious and vague and double-entendre'd?)

On-call sex doll
Dial her up when you're lonely
She's got nothing better to do
Than to come attend to you
and ride that pony


Can't look a passing man in the eyes
For fear she'll have to be his next prize
Invisibly trapped into being on display
She can't explain to those who don't know
That ache, for what you just can't say
Ignore her feelings, she's got none
And screw her life, but take away the gun
Don't let her see the better call than
Living life always as some man's sex doll. 

And a song, if you need one: 
Do It Alone (Bigger Than You) -- Kid Cudi   I highly recommend you check out the lyrics. Give him a shot even if you don't like rap. He's not a rapper, he's a LYRICIST.  His music plus a dear friend helped me through a suicidal summer.