Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Knowing from the Mat Expanded to Thoughts

Had a point when starting this... please help me find it lol 

Why does the ego separate itself into seemingly individual components, that pick on each other or band together? 
      The ego cannot exist without being perceived by the Mind, and tricks the Mind into believing that the Mind will cease to exist without being perceived by the ego. The Mind becomes a function of the ego, simultaneously squashing and reviving the ego to confirm it, the Mind, is still there, computing and perceiving, existing. But if existence as we know it is a function of perception, the ego will always exist so long as we have a Mind, so long as we perceive -- trying to understand and analyze, put words and explanations to, instead of Being and Knowing. If the Mind couldn't create questions and/or observations, in its individual capacity, could it be aware of its existence? The awareness has to have something to be aware of.

We live by the concept that dialogue constitutes existence.

 Waves on one beach ebb, on the opposite beach they flow; a back and forth rapport that never stops. But if the Moon stopped orbiting the Earth, would waves cease to exist? Light would still arrive at Earth in wavelengths, though we can`t see the ebb and flow of connected rays of light from the sun; we perceive a sunny day as one endless time of light. Even when clouds pass through the sky, light is perceived as one continuous stream; the clouds interrupt it.
If we aren't above ground to perceive the sunny day, does the continuous time of light exist? 
Who receives the waves as they flow, and who misses them when they ebb? The beach, the sand, ... But what about the microscopic organisms in the sand...?
We don't see them, yet they validate the existence of the ocean waves by being there, by their own existence -- they perceive the waves in their own capacity. Since we don't see these organisms, or experience them directly, do they not exist? And if they don't exist, do waves not exist in the times that a human isn't near enough to perceive them? 

A tree falls in the forest, and no one`s around. Does it make a sound?
The ego says no. There was no one to create a dialogue with the sound, a response or rebuff, no one to ignore it and thereby validate the existence of something to be ignored.
The Jnana yogi says, what tree?
The Mind says "I don't think I know." 
The Heart knows the ground receives the tree with a sigh as the dirt below compacts under the weight; the birds who built their nest become homeless as the tree falls; neighbouring trees feel sadness for the loss of their friend, and excitement for his new life on the ground as a nursery log; the bugs, initially shaken by the rumble as the tree hits the Earth, rejoice at the arrival of a massive new feeding ground and home. 

Perhaps dialogue constitutes existence, existence as we perceive it in our limited physical brain. But this Mind sensing existence is only a function of perception (I think, therefore I am). Perception is a side effect of existence, but awareness of existence comes from perception. So, do you still exist if you're not aware that you exist, if you're not aware that to others you exist? 

There is no such thing as existence or non-existence; words are a feeble yet mighty attempt to explain the unexplainable, that which can only be experienced without perception.  Existence is a concept, and concepts are not Real.

This all came to me while working on yoga flow for school. It took over an hour to put into words, and still I feel there's much more I could expand on, turn around and contradict to prove points. However we all KNOW the underlying point; expand your consciousness beyond perception. It's all in the inference, as usual. 

Monday, September 24, 2012

A Lesson in the Ego

  Today I went for a swim at the pool, having been too busy to work out all week. I was super excited to be there, with my goggles and front crawls ready to go.
Being new to the whole thing, I opted to share the slow lane with an older woman.
As I was swimming on my back, I saw her splashing closer&closer to my feet, her head above the water.
 Already beginning to be irritated, I maintained my pace, waiting for her to move to the side to pass me ... but her hand slid across my toes, and in a huff, I fluttered off to the side, continuing to swim parallel to her. It happened again, and I angrily thought,
"I should say something. Who does she think she is, swimming into me, twice, and her head's out of the water!"
Then I asked myself,
"Why are you so angry? Is it really because she swam into you, because she didn't apologize like YOU would ... or is it because she's not acknowledging your existence, and the ego doesn't like that?" I smiled, knowing it was the latter. I continued swimming, being mindful of the where the woman was.

As I was getting dressed, the woman walked into the change room, the ball on her red&white bottomed cane bumping rhythmically across the floor.
<3

Monday, February 27, 2012

Growing Up

I wrote this around the same time as On Call Sex Doll. It was a particularly angsty time after getting kicked out/leaving home, and it feels appropriate today when I'm feeling icky.

Welcome to your teens
Where moments of insanity or vanity
--- aren't they the same thing?
Not only burn bridges to the ground but
Scorch entire towns
Not yet with a complex gray matter
It's easy to shred it quickly to tatters
What'd it all mean anyway?
You can't know until the end of the show
When the performers chase you out of the aisles
Grab what you can
You'll want to destroy that too, later.
Kill the memories, only to see
the way life was, was better.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

On Call Sex Doll (A Learning Curve Poem)

                 I wrote this a few months ago, back in September-October when I was hanging around an unsavory guy. He's been coming up a lot in my mind: how much I can't stand to think about his face in my mind, or that I did what I did. Generally anger &shitty feelings.
        We started hooking up around the time my mom gave me "60 days to find somewhere else that will want you". Needless to say, I was very vulnerable at the time and looking for love... I even knew I was, knew that was a surefire way to get into trouble. I knew 100% that nothing good would come of it; at least not in the traditional sense. However, I am now able to say FUCK OFF/Leave me alone/Get away from me or I'll call the cops to a guy or anyone else bothering me. No more Ms. Timid-Yes Girl.
             I'm aware that my poetry is nowhere near publishable, but hey it's the internet and I'm sure there's worse (read: cringeworthy) out there. I hope that it will resonate with someone, as simple and straightforward as it is, and help them to consider how their 'lover' *barf* is treating them. (Isn't poetry supposed to be all mysterious and vague and double-entendre'd?)




On-call sex doll
Dial her up when you're lonely
She's got nothing better to do
Than to come attend to you
and ride that pony


Can't look a passing man in the eyes
For fear she'll have to be his next prize
Invisibly trapped into being on display
She can't explain to those who don't know
That ache, for what you just can't say
Ignore her feelings, she's got none
And screw her life, but take away the gun
Don't let her see the better call than
Living life always as some man's sex doll. 

And a song, if you need one: 
Do It Alone (Bigger Than You) -- Kid Cudi   I highly recommend you check out the lyrics. Give him a shot even if you don't like rap. He's not a rapper, he's a LYRICIST.  His music plus a dear friend helped me through a suicidal summer.